moving, stress, and taking care of myself

How do you deal with stress? Some people thrive on it, accomplishing more and getting energized by it. Not me.

I am one of those people who cannot handle an overabundance of tasks to do at once – I freak out and simply withdraw from life for a while when that happens. I can accomplish only a limited number of things per day, so when my lists gets too long, I freeze up and get nothing done instead.

We moved to a new apartment on Saturday (Hooray! We finally found sub-leasers to take over our most hated apartment), so this week has been filled with cleaning, unpacking, calling utility companies, and extreme back pain. And then throw in a bunch of church stuff (Relief Society calling). In short, I’ve been stressed.

But this time I’m trying not to freak out. I’m just doing what I can do. And I’ve been struggling with some personal issues, so I’m trying to treat myself with care and realize that I’m ok the way that I am. For now, this is all that I am and all I have to give to the world, and that’s ok.

My heart also hurts for friends and family who are dealing with struggles of their own. Life can truly be hard, and I wish I lived closer to them to be more of a support and help. I can only send my love and prayers and trust that they are strong, amazing people and can make it through the tough times.

Take a minute to count your blessings today. We all have more than we think we do. I’m going to try and be more grateful for mine.

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My grandpa turns 80 today

I’ve got so many things I want to blog about. But most of those things involve figuring out how to upload pictures to wordpress, which I have not yet mastered. 😦 I will though! Someday…

It’s my grandpa’s 80th birthday today. I talked to him on the phone and it was so nice to hear his voice. He has the most calming, rugged cowboy voice ever. I’m sure he yelled when my mom was a kid (I know he did!), but I can’t imagine him doing it now. He’s so loving.

It’s scary to think that my grandparents are getting older. I always took them for granted when I was younger – they were always just a part of my life. But now I realize that all the time I got to spend with them was an amazing gift. I wish I had paid attention more to their wisdom and the stories they had to tell.

The older I get, the more I realize how big a part they play in who I am. My grandpa and grandma didn’t get an education. My grandpa is a farmer and a cowboy who wears a cowboy hat and feeds the cows every day. My grandma crochets cool things and creates a beautiful flower garden every spring. They are from small towns in Utah and spent most of their lives together in a tiny little town that somehow managed to survive into the 21st century. These are the people I come from.

I miss my grandparents.

Do you still have grandparents? You should call them. Or even hug them if you’re lucky enough to have that opportunity.

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update

A lot has happened since I last wrote. Sorry about that; I’m still getting used to wordpress. This place doesn’t feel like home yet, so forgive my lack of posting.

We had a great trip to St. Johns two weekends ago. St. Johns was beautiful and fun. It’s a very small town where everybody knows everyone else, kind of like where I’m from. It felt almost like home. And we saw so many people that John knew. It was great. Also, I met Kimbo, who I’ve been dying to meet ever since she started reading my blog. 🙂 And she called me gorgeous, so how can I not love her?!!

This past weekend we were in Kanab, Utah for a family reunion. We saw lots of family, swam, sat around doing nothing (yes!), and even took family pictures. It was a successful weekend. The only downside was that I burned my scalp (yet again!), oh, and I ate so much I probably gained 10 pounds.

And otherwise, the weeks are ticking by. In less than one month we’re going to be in Athens, Georgia. I’m getting more used to the idea, but I’m still scared! And I’m going to miss family and friends like you wouldn’t believe. The next four weeks are going to be a whirlwind of activity — traveling for family reunions, family parties, packing in our spare time (ha!), trying to see friends and looking for time to just relax. If I look stressed, you’ll know why. I just have to prevent a nervous breakdown, because I don’t need that on top of everything else!

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my sister is graduating

My youngest sister graduates from high school on Friday. I’m proud and happy for her, but occasions like this also make me a little sad. She’s my baby sister, and she’s grown up now. My family has been changing a lot over the years (siblings getting married, having kids, moving to different places), and Lexi was the sibling who lived at home and wasn’t moving on to new life endeavors. And now she will. It’s exciting and sad at the same time!

So anyway, I’ll be in Nevada this weekend, but I’ll leave you with a copy of the poem Lexi is going to read in her valedictory address. It makes me cry every time I read it. (Oh, I was alerted to this poem because of Deborah at Exponent II.):

You Reading This, Be Ready

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?

Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?

When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life—

What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?

–William Stafford

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things to be thankful for

We spent some time with my sister and brother-in-law recently. My niece Sareny said the prayer to bless the food. Remember her obsession with my lip gloss? Well, in her prayer she said, “Thank thee for Holli. And her lip gloss.”

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i’m back

Sorry. I’ve been sort of MIA lately. Here are the excuses:

1. I’ve been at Disneyland (the happiest place on earth) with John and several other members of my family. We had such a great time, but I was exhausted by the time we got back on Monday! It’s taken me all week just to recover.

2. I’m searching for a job, and I have 8 weeks to find one. So I’ve been in hyper focus mode. I spend time job searching every single day.

3. Work has been so busy. My boss leaves on vacation today, and I have been racing against the clock to finish projects before he left.

But those are all just excuses. I’m back again, ready to post again, because I have a LOT to say! So much going on. My husband broke the news a while ago on his blog, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned the fact that John and I are moving to Georgia at the end of July. I have so many emotions surrounding the move that it’s probably best saved for its own post. But needless to say, we are very busy cleaning, packing, finding a place to live, and job searching. And trying to see family and friends as often as we can before we live very, very far away from them.

Anyway, more thoughts later. Happy weekend all!

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book recommendation — Peeps

Here’s something weird. Last week, without talking to each other, my sister and I both happened to randomly browse our individual library’s teen section, stumble upon the book Peeps, by Scott Westerfeld, and both checked it out. It’s a good book, so we both read it last week. We discovered on Sunday that we had both read it at the same time…kind of spooky!

Anyway, Peeps is a fascinating twist on vampirism. And before you say anything, let me add: I do not usually read vampire books, so for me to have liked this one says something. Vampirism is actually a parasite, and it’s spread by saliva or sexual contact. (And with that, realize that Peeps would probably be rated pg-13.)

I highly recommend this book, and in fact, I’m planning to read anything I can find by Scott Westerfeld. He’s brilliant!

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pat’s run 2007

Well, Pat’s Run was simply amazing. We (me, John, family members) finished the race, and I even finished faster than I thought I would. I had planned on walking the course, but my enthusiasm took over once we got there, and I started the race jogging. I walked most of it, but it ended up that I jogged a mile or two. I’m really sore now as a result.

Anyway, I posted most of my thoughts on the matter here, if anyone cares to read it. If not, just know that it was a wonderful experience that I would do again in a second. In fact, I enjoyed myself so much that I went running yesterday, and plan to do more walking/running several times a week. I see a 5K in my not too distant future, as well. I’m inspired.

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ready for pat’s run

My parents and sister are in town so they could do Pat’s Run with us. There are seven of us on our team, and we are so excited! There is just something cool about thousands of ‘athletes’ getting together and running a race. I say ‘athletes’, because I don’t really consider people like me an athlete. I just feel privileged to be among people who actually are.

Anyway, the race shirts are AWESOME, even though they run ultra small, there is a buzz on campus because of the race, and we have to get up bright and early in the morning to make it here by 7am.

We actually did another walk through of the race yesterday. I’m a little sore today, so I guess I didn’t train like I should have. Tomorrow we shall see how I do! I’m getting very excited. I’ll try to take pictures so I can post a couple.

Happy Easter, everyone.

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sang as they walked

John and I went on a four-mile walk yesterday. It felt surprisingly good. And the best part is that we did it in about an hour, which is fast for us.

We were actually doing a practice walk for an event we signed up for: Pat’s Run. Proceeds from the race go to the Pat Tillman Foundation. I think it’s a worthy cause, and I’m happy I get to be a part of. Not to mention that Pat Tillman is my dad’s hero; I knew this run would mean a lot to him.

So next Saturday we (along with five other members of my family) will be walking 4.2 miles for Pat’s Run. I’m so excited. My original plan had been to run this, but it turned out that walking was the better choice this time. I do have a goal that a year from now I (and I hope John too) will be running a 5k or two.

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seeing with new eyes

Young children have such an amazing outlook. I wish I could see the world through a child’s eyes just for a while.

In my writing class we are working on using metaphors in our writing, and it’s not my strong point. My three-year-old niece grasps the concept much better than I do.

The other evening she was over at our house. The moon was a shiny sliver in the sky. My niece ran over to the window and looked out. She gasped in surprise and awe, “There’s a diamond in your sky!!!” She couldn’t stop looking at the diamond hanging in our sky.

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lip gloss

My nearly three-year-old niece is obsessed with my ‘lip plumper’ lip gloss. It tingles on your lips when you apply it. Any time we go to my sister & brother-in-law’s house, Sareny runs to me as soon as I come in the house and says, “I want some lip gloss.”

The other day, John and I were planning to go to their house for dinner. Sareny asked her mom, “Is Holli coming over? And her lip gloss?!” I think she probably meant to say, “Is Holli’s lip gloss coming over?”

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