Archive for the ‘love’ Category

I wrote this post a LONG time ago and forgot to post it. But here you have it – how I met my husband:

Jamie had a really great post about how she met her husband, and she invited everyone else to post their ‘how we met’ story. So here is mine.

My story is different from many ‘how we met’ stories. It wasn’t in high school. It wasn’t even in college. I was twenty-nine when I met John. I had spent a lot of years meeting guys and going out on several hilarious and/or horrible dates with some of them. (Maybe I’ll recap some of them sometime. Because I had some funny ones.) I can’t say that I was an expert at dating, because boy was I ever NOT! But I knew what kind of guy I wanted to find, and I knew I’d know it when I saw him.

The year was 2004. I had decided on New Year’s day that 2004 would be the year I got married. I posted a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley that pointed toward the kind of guy I was looking for, and then I decided to just be and live my life. I adopted a zen-like attitude toward love — I would let each dating situation be what it was, and not expect more or less than that. I decided I needed to open my heart to possibility.

Anyway…on to the meeting part. John and I were in the same ward at church. I can’t remember the exact date of when I saw him, maybe March of 2004, but I know the feeling I had. I knew I wanted to get to know him; it felt inevitable that I would.

And then he and I both ended up at the Cheesecake Factory with several mutual acquaintances. He was the only guy there among a bunch of girls. At first, we were too shy to talk to each other, but when we did talk, we hit it off. We had both traveled, we both had interesting stories to tell. We had ‘flow’.

So woman of the new millennium that I am, I invited him to attend a lecture given by Ursula K. Le Guin. He turned me down. (Okay, he had a good reason, but still.) And then we both participated in a church activity, and afterward I got invited to hang out with people at an ex-boyfriend’s house. I didn’t want to go, but when I heard that John would be there, I couldn’t resist.

And John couldn’t resist me, obviously. He finally plucked up the courage and asked me out in June. We went with another couple to an astronomy lecture at the library (which actually turned out to be a lecture on extraterrestrials — we laughed so hard), went to In-N-Out Burger, and then played games. The other guy ended up kissing me on the cheek, which surprised me (it was part of the game).

Long story short (too late!), John ended up being in the position of dating me and another girl simultaneously. But I knew about the other girl and she knew about me. For reasons that will someday become clear to me, John couldn’t decide between the two of us. The other girl is great, don’t get me wrong, but we’re talking about ME!

This is the point at which my former self would have lost all nerve and self-esteem and give up on him. But I had commited to the zen-like attitude, and I trusted that what was right would happen. So I let our relationship be what it was, though I wasn’t quite sure what it was from day to day. Mostly we were friends, and we hung out and got to know each other.

Until the day that he chose the other girl. I know, right?! I was sad, but not overly. It was what it was, and I accepted that. But that didn’t stop me from getting to know another guy friend in the meantime. And dating the other girl didn’t stop John from still trying to spend time with me and flirt with me a little. So…I wasn’t that worried.

A week after he chose the other girl, he realized his ginormous error, and came back to me. I considered saying “no way — you had your chance,” but once again I kept my heart open, and I gave him a chance. Three months later we were engaged, and four months after that, we got married.

So I didn’t end up getting married in 2004 like I planned, but it was awfully close. And meeting John was the best thing that ever happened to me. We connect on so many levels, and he is my soul mate.


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endearing things

I think I got this idea from Jamie’s blog a long time ago.

Things I do that others might find annoying but my husband is required to find endearing:

1. I throw my dirty clothes on the bedroom floor.
2. I make sarcastic remarks at commercials and tv programs I find cheesy or implausible. I do this a lot.
3. I sometimes talk during movies in the theatre.
4. My brain doesn’t process sound very quickly. So I ask, “huh?” and “what?” way too often.
5. I pout when my feelings are hurt. And they get hurt way too often. (just ask John)
6. I talk like a baby. All my sisters do it. My brother, too. The year I turned 26, my sister who was then 11 said, “I twenty-six. I talk wike baby.” It’s an annoying yet strangely addicting behavior.
7. I quote movies all the time. “I know, right?”
8. I say “wah” when I am sad.

Annoying. But endearing too, right?

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I just got back from the wedding and reception of one of my best friends — TK. It was a beautiful reception. I was impressed that she could make a church cultural hall look so elegant. Kudos to her; she always was creative like that. And seeing her so happy made me happy too.

A few old friends were there, and it was so wonderful to see them again. It was almost like old times. Almost. I started to get a little sad, knowing that we’re leaving all our friends and family in just two months.

TK’s wedding was in the Mesa LDS temple, and it brought back memories from my wedding. I knew that I was marrying the right man; I was so happy. And I was completely overwhelmed that day by the strong feeling that God loves me. I wasn’t expecting that, but it was just one of those things that I suddenly knew. I knew that God loved me, and I knew that John loved me. What else mattered? It was the best day of my life, and the best decision I ever made.

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Here’s my self portrait for the week, my first one ever. This one is called ‘eye of my storm’. My weekend was rough; this week has been hard, but between all that, on Monday evening, I experienced a reprieve. John and I sat on our balcony, holding hands and talking about the future as we stared out at the view we wouldn’t be seeing for much longer — Camelback mountain where John proposed, the golf course, the lone palm tree off in the distance. Things have been rough both before and since, but for that one moment all was right.

To see more self portrait entries, go here.

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the reason is you

Two years ago today, John and I were married in the Las Vegas temple. It’s hard to believe we’ve been married two years already, yet I feel as though I’ve been with him forever. Anyone who knows us can see that we’re MFEO; there’s no one who understands me or loves me better than John does, we both have our ‘quirky’ sense of humor, and we can entertain each other for hours on a road trip. I’m more comfortable with him than with anyone else I’ve ever known.

I waited a long time to find the right man to marry, and there were times when I lost hope that he was actually out there. But John came along and made the wait so worth it.

I love you sweetie. You’re truly my soul mate.

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So remember that one time when I said I would share a picture of the valentine card I made for John? Well, I’m finally doing that. Just remember that it’s pretty much my first attempt at paint ever. But I like it anyway, flaws and all:

And you know what John got me? This:

If you know me, you know this was the perfect gift. I’m romantic, and I love poetry. So the combination was perfect. Now I just need to light a fire in our unused fireplace and have John read love poems to me. (Thus far he hasn’t.) But anyway, that was our Valentine’s day.

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dark day

My emotions have been all over today, but right now I am down. I woke up that way; must have been my dreams. But I feel so useless. So utterly pointless. I’m scared of some of the changes that are coming up in the near future. I haven’t blogged much about any of those changes, because…well, because. I will soon.

Anyway, it’s days like this that make me wish I had never heard the word depression before and didn’t know a thing about it. Just this morning I was feeling thankful for the things that depression had given me–things like compassion and patience. It has made me humble and brought me closer to God. For those things I am thankful. But right now I don’t feel so very thankful for what feels like a curse.

I’m off to spend time with a dear friend on her birthday. She’s a relatively new friend, but her love and understanding has helped me survive some dark days. Her capacity for compassion is incredible; I want to be like her when I grow up.

John is off doing some important things, but I can’t wait to see him tonight. His love for me is also quite amazing to me. Having someone love me that much has definitely helped me make it through the tough times. I will feel better soon, I know it. But I’m glad I have him to love me through it until I do.

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