things i don’t agree with

I don’t know what it is, but in some ways I become less and less mainstream each year that I live. I thought I was becoming your typical LDS – I finally got married, and now we’re expecting our first baby. But that wasn’t typical, either. I was 30 when we got married, and it took us three years after that to get to the baby. Two days ago I was feeling like I was becoming typical of every LDS person out there.

And then I get reminded that I’m not. I took a long drive yesterday and had time on my hands to think. When I passed by a truck that was overloaded with chickens crowded into tiny metal cages, I realized that I couldn’t stand to eat chicken if that’s the kind of treatment the chickens received.

And so John and I did some research on “free-range” chickens. Guess what? They typically aren’t treated any better. I was shocked at the way chickens are housed and handled. I had no idea. After researching several websites, I decided I didn’t want to eat chicken anymore.

That led me to wonder about the other animals I typically eat – beef, pork, turkey. From my research, I know that turkeys are treated just as brutally as the chickens. As for beef and pork, I haven’t been brave enough to check into it. I don’t want to give up meat. I am not the kind of person who believes it is wrong to kill and eat animals. But I do oppose the mistreatment of animals. I don’t eat veal or lobster for those reasons. Now it looks like chicken will be added to the list.

My only concern is eggs. I LOVE eggs so much. But the chickens that are raised to lay eggs are just as mistreated. So until I can buy a house and raise my own chickens to lay eggs for me (I’m serious about doing that, too!), eggs might be out of the question as well.

And I am seriously considering becoming a vegetarian and giving up all meat except for fish or wild game. Does that make me radical? To most of the world, probably not. But to my family and most of the people I associate with, quite possibly.

Anyway, if I do become a vegetarian, I’ll document it here and let you know how it goes. It doesn’t look like an easy lifestyle. But it just may become my lifestyle. If I can convince my husband, that is. He says I’m much more liberal than I think I am. I think he might be right.

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My little garden

I really like freecycle, the group in which everyone gives stuff they don’t need to other people who do need.

So today, I received six little tomato plants from a wonderful woman on freecycle who apparently didn’t need them. I’m so excited to start a little garden. (Little is the key word here – we live in an apartment with a small patio.) I know nothing about growing tomatoes, but I’m going to learn! Anybody out there have good advice or knowledge about tomatoes and/or gardening in containers?

Anyway, in between writing and looking for writing jobs, I’ll be taking care of my little tomato plants on the patio.

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Bulgarian food!

My husband and I checked out a Bosnian grocery store the other day, and do you know what they sold there? Bulgarian food. So we bought some. First we snatched a bottle of lutenitsa, which we will spread onto some homemade bread. We also found some Bulgarian cheese, which forced me to buy filo dough so I can make banitsa out of it.

I am in heaven right now. Especially since John opened up the cheese and I tasted it. Soooo very delicious. (It’s like feta cheese, only better – though John isn’t sold on it yet.) I miss Bulgaria. But sometimes I miss the food even more.

Want some? You’re invited to my house for a Bulgarian food feast.

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random thoughts today

I’m on a Bulgarian food roll — I made Pulneni Chushki (stuffed peppers) last night. So delicious, except I forgot the most important part — yogurt. 😦 But that’s ok, because they were still tasty, and somewhat healthy.

And we are officially partied out. We went to a party on Friday and two on Saturday. We were invited to yet another party on Saturday, and were very sad to have to miss it, because we love the people who invited us. But luckily, we get to see them tonight. And as for the parties, I’ve had enough eating hors d’ouvres and making chit-chat with people I barely know, to last me for a long, LONG time.

Have you jump roped recently? I know you did it in elementary school, but have you done it recently? I pulled out my jump rope on Saturday and jumped for three minutes. That was enough to completely wind me. But the crazy part? I woke up on Sunday with horribly sore calves. And they’re still sore today. Just from three minutes of jumping!!! I guess it’s a sport you work up to, but I don’t remember getting so sore when I did it as a kid.

I don’t know how we’re going to accomplish everything we have to do by Friday when we go to my parents’ house for Christmas. We’ve got present buying, wrapping, delivering, cleaning, laundry, packing, and all kinds of other things to get done. I’m to the point where I’m considering bringing presents and wrapping paper to work and wrapping presents on my lunch hour…

But I’m excited to get away! And I’m taking time off work, so I’ll be away from work for 10 whole days. Yes, 10 days. I’m overjoyed!!!

I’m thankful for so many things right now. Maybe I’ll have to do an entry of some of the things I’m thankful for. Good idea.

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i love cabbage

Our nutritionist told us a few months ago that John is insulin resistant. It took me several months to actually believe her. I’m a skeptic, and I had a hard time believing that it’s even possible to eat as few carbs as she suggested we eat. Let alone advisable.

But now I see that it is true. And for health reasons, it’s a good idea to finally pay attention and do something about it. What’s more, I may or may not have an insulin resistance myself, but I DEFINITELY get carb cravings when I don’t eat a ton of them. So what this means is that we have to change our diet around. Someone who’s insulin resistant should eat protein, vegetables, and one serving of a carb item (like rice or pasta) for each meal.

I’ll be honest and say that in the past some of our meals consisted only of carbs. 😦 I don’t generally like meat. But I loooove carbs. Give me a good loaf of bread and some cold cereal and I’d be fine eating only that for a few days. That’s not good for John, however. (Or me, but that’s another story…)

So last night I made a meal that consisted only of protein and vegetables. No carb at all! You’d expect a meal like that to be boring and gross. (Or at least I would.) But it was delicious! What was it? Well, I drew on my knowledge of Bulgarian cuisine, and morphed it into: cabbage and chicken! Doesn’t sound good on paper, but it was delightful to eat. And low in calories and carbs. I am so proud of myself for creating this dish. I think we’ll be eating it fairly often…

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not in need of metamucil

I made the most delicious lentil soup yesterday. So yummy. So healthy. But guess what, folks? The soup had 22 grams of fiber per serving!

Holy bathroom break, Batman!

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hey, it’s all one big crapshoot anywho

My plan to look good isn’t going quite as well as I had hoped.

The good news is that I have consistently worn my step counter, and have increased my daily average by 500 steps each week. So that means this week I’m up to 6,500 steps per day. (When I first started, my average was 4,000 steps a day.) That probably doesn’t sound like much to many of you, but it involves me taking a 20-minute walk every day at lunch. I’ve also started doing a weight workout once a week—the goal is at least twice a week, but we’re talking baby steps here. I’m pretty proud of my efforts in this realm.

The eating has not gone as well. I somehow manage to sabotage myself at every turn. I eat yogurt and a granola bar for breakfast, fruits and veggies for snacks, a healthy lunch, and then I pig out in the evening on greasy Mexican food takeout and top it off with ice cream. I get nowhere doing that. Probably because of this, my stomach looks as big as before (or bigger). I get discouraged.

You know what else is discouraging? The instructors of my health and wellness class. The nutrition expert is chubby. The exercise expert is built like a linebacker, and not all of that is muscle. Are they not following their own advice? Because at the end of this course, I want to look and feel a little better than I did when I started. I’m discouraged, but I’m not giving up.

Tonight, one of my best friends will be dyeing my hair. Saturday I’m getting it cut. And someday very soon, I’m hopefully going to be wearing these . Or these.

And very soon I’m going to call a counselor for my emotional health. I’ve been trying to make the call for a couple of weeks now, but I’m scared. I know I need it, it’s just hard for me to pick up the phone and do it. But it’s time. I want to make myself and my marriage into something better, and I know this is the way to do it. I’m just scared of revealing my thoughts and feelings to someone—I have a problem being vulnerable. (Hence, why I need to get counseling in the first place.)

It sounds funny—a person (me) who puts a blog up for anyone to stumble upon is scared to reveal her true thoughts and feelings. But it’s different on a blog. I edit my thoughts here. I don’t generally blog about the bad stuff, or the problems I have, or the emotional mess I am sometimes. Can you see why this would be a problem in a marriage? My fear of revealing my true self sometimes prevents me from being a full, true partner to my husband, and that is not acceptable to me. I think a counselor can help me with that. There are more issues to deal with, but that is a big one. (Wow…I wasn’t even sure where to start with counseling, but writing it out has pointed out one of my main problems!)

Anywho, I’m still alive. I’m working on my goals, and I’m trying to become a better person (both inside and out). I’m just getting exhausted by the effort.

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